I dont know if theres a point in writing in here.  No one reads these things anymore, right?

Nothing too exciting has happened lately.  I'm finally starting to feel healthy after a long recovery from surgery.  However, I still havent been able to put or keep weight on.  My pants wont stay on without a belt.  Yikes!

Augie is amazing.. I absolutely hate leaving there.  Its my home.  Classes are hard this term since 2/3 of them are anatomy classes.  Hurray for studying to be a doctor! 

My boyfriend is still absolutely amazing and worth everything in the world to me.  My roommates are my sisters and I love them to death.  My fellow bandmates are my family.  Everything just seems to have fallen in place. :)

Sorry for the vague descriptions.  I suck at xanga.

Update:

Gallstones.  I will have surgery soon to have my entire gall bladder removed.  So fun.

Anemia. I'll have to take pills for my stinky blood.

The end.

Wow..I havent written on here for about 4 months.  Alot has happened..and not necessarily good things. 

So the end of the school year was rough because I was just not ready to leave RI and come back to EP.  RI is my new home and I LOVE it here.  It was really hard to be back at home for 3 months away from my Augie friends, Jay, Augie band, the campus, etc etc.  Anyways, the long, WORST summer of my life came and past.

In June I started getting really sick.  I kept vomiting all the time and had bad stomach pains with nausea and dizziness.  Since I wasnt even able to keep down water, I became really dehydrated as well.  We thought this all might just be a bug since I started working in a daycare with infants.  However, June ended and I was still having these symptoms well into July.  I finally went to my doctor and they did some tests to check for parasites and viruses that I may have picked up from my daycare classroom.  They all came back negative.

Near the end of July I started feeling a bit better and thought I was finally over whatever it was that I had.  However, a few days later it all came back again.  I had the chronic vomiting, stomach pain, nausea, dizziness, the whole nine yards.  By this time, I had lost 20 lbs.  I went back to the doctor and he took some blood tests looking for celiac sprue (a disease where you cant eat anything with grain, wheat, barley, oat, or whey because your intestines are allergic to it and those foods tear the lining out of your intestines).  We thought we finally had found what the problem was.  Nope.. that test came back negative too.

So I get back to school and I thought maybe I would feel better once I get back "home."  Just a few days after I moved into the apartment, I started getting the bad stomach pain whenever I ate.  I didnt mention it for awhile because i wanted to believe that it wasnt still there.  However, after several days of constant pain whenever I ate I decided it was time to finally go back to another doctor.  My doctor here in the QC thought that these symptoms and weight loss after 3 months was quite serious so she sent me to the hospital to have some tests run.

Thursday my mom came up for my all day tests at the hospital.  First I had a sonogram so they could check all my organs and for gall stones and all that stuff.  It was pretty neat because I was able to see all of my organs and even my heart and the blood pumping in and out of it.  Nothing too apparent showed up on that tests.  Then I was off to another wing to the radiology part of the hospital for the intense tests.  They had me swallow a cup of crystals that made my stomach immediately expand and blow out.  Then I stood in a full body xray machine and then I had to drink a whole cup of thick barium (this barium has the consistency of rubber cement and tastes like antifreeze and crap mixed together.  Barium is pretty much liquidized metal that coats your insides so that it shows up on the xrays).  I wasnt allowed to throw it up or I'd have to start this all over again.  They watched on the xray machine as I choked the thick barium down.  Then they moved me back so I was laying on my back and then they had me do several log rolls, lay on my stomach, lay on my side, and then back on my back again over and over.  Then they took some more pictures.  After that, I had to drink a cup of thin barium which looked like milk but still tasted like poo.  Every 15 minutes for an hour they took a new picture and after that, every half hour they took a picture.  They were watching as the barium made its way through my entire digestive tract.  Once it got to my large intestine, they brought me in for my last picture.  At this time, I have 4 doctors around me in the room.  They flattened out my stomach with this paddle thing (which definitely didnt feel great after all the barium) and did another full inside xray picture.

My results are supposed to be in Monday but my doctor has already called and said she wants to meet with me to go over the results.  Who knows what will show up.  Pray that whatever it is, it can easily be fixed/cured/removed.

This weekend was so much fun, I've gotta admit.  I watched enough Will & Grace and chick flicks to last me a life-time but it was nice to have a relaxing weekend without homework.... which was probably a dumb choice of mine since this is the last week of classes.

From here on out, I'll be a slave to papers, tests, quizzes, group project presentations, portfolios, and FINALS. 

Even though I wasnt studying, I did learn some things this weekend:

• I have three favorite words: spoon, poo, and tatus (the Polish word for "dad")
• Speaking of tatus, if you say (in a low voice): "Bye Buddy!  Hope you found your tatus" just once, Christi will laugh until she cries.
• You can never watch enough Austin Powers
• You arent a loser if you stay inside on a Saturday night watching Will & Grace by yourself labeling land forms on geographic maps
• However, you are, indeed a loser, if you watch a low-budget scary movie on the Sci-fi channel by yourself with a bag of pretzels and get so scared you have to hit the mute button every 2 minutes.
• Westerlin has crappy soft-served vanilla ice cream.
• Pastor Priggie delivers the best sermons I've ever heard.
• Quoting the Austin Powers movies with Brian and Ashley over facebook is not annoying, its hilarious.
• Dermot Mulroney is the hottest man in the world next to Patrick Dempsey
• Dermot does not have a son named Tony Mulroney as much as Linds and I hope for
• I rock at curling hair.
• I will miss my Augie friends way too much this summer!
• Praying really works.

Things have been extremely rough on me lately.  EXTREMELY.  For awhile I had no idea what I wanted to do or what I should do but I think I know now.  Some people may think I'm being stupid or making a wrong decision.  I'm following my heart and even though its been hurt its still telling me that its all worth it.  As one of my professors said in class: "Education that doesnt put love in the center is stupid- life is not about head knowledge, its about what's in the heart" and I agree.  So if this is the wrong decision, then I will take all of the guilt but I'm following what my heart is telling me.  I hope people understand this and stand by me.

The easiest way to describe this would be in a song by Mae called "Giving It Away."  Please understand.

And by the way you brought me here,
it makes me believe the best is still yet to come and I don't want to leave.
Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you.
Help me to dream these dreams because I don't have a clue.

And if you'd be honest and say what you mean
you know I would promise I'd do anything
because I know that without you I'm giving it away.

Is this what you wanted?
'Cause I'm willing to change.
Now that I'm certain,
that there's much more to gain.
You've introduced me to the moment
oh but I'm looking to stay for good.
You asked me to stay forever.
Well, you know that I would, I would do anything.

And if you'd be honest and say what you mean
you know I would promise I'd do anything
'Cause I know that without you I'm giving it away.

The nights are forever and maybe I'm wrong,
but it feels like I'm so lost without you.
So I step towards the heat, it's the way I can see,
and it makes me believe that it's you.

And by the way you brought me here
it makes me believe the best is still yet to come and I don't want to leave,
I won't, but anyway...

If you'd be honest and say what you mean
you know I would promise I'd do anything
And the nights are forever, I can't get to sleep
'Cause I know there's a reason I'm in this too deep
And I'm sure that without you, I'm giving it away, yeah.

I'm giving it away...